When I learned of President Obama's support of same sex-marriage this week, my emotions ran amok -- surprise, hope, excitement, joy -- joy because the marriage of my daughter and daughter-in-law was recognized as a good thing by the highest office in the land. His stand supersedes politics. It should be a standard for all of us to follow -- to lay down our opinions, prejudices, and judgments and do what is right.
I wasn't willing to do that in 2004, when I received word that my daughter, Cholene Espinoza, was marrying her partner, Ellen Ratner. I had finally reached a point of grudging acceptance, two years after Cholene first told me that she was gay. Cholene was 37 at the time, and I had not had a clue. I thought it was the end of the world then, and now this! I had a terrible attitude about it. I wasn't even sure I could attend the wedding; I just couldn't picture it. A dear friend told me that if I didn't straighten up, I was going to lose Cholene, and our relationship would never be the same. Imagine the position Cholene was in: She was risking our ruining the happiest day of her life by inviting us to the wedding, but if she hadn't invited us, I would have been hurt and upset. It was definitely a no-win situation for her.
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